What is the difference between an argument and discussion ?
In a discussion, the focus is on” What is right” ? . In an argument, the focus is on ” Who is right”? . In argument, the ego has already entered and taken over. Objectivity is no more possible. A human convinced again his will still holds the same opinion. That is why no one over wins an argument. It always ends in a timeout. That is why no intelligent person will ever argue with a fool; if he or she argues, then he or she is not intelligent.
That is why it is said, ” The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it”. To an arguing solider, Abraham Lincoln said, ” Better give way to an angry dog than fight it, for even if you kill the dog, what about the injuries you will suffer in the process/”. Better give up an argument, for even if you win the argument, what about the emotional scars you will create in the relationship,
The only way you can help your relatives or friends is to make them understand the harmony in relationship is not possible unless it is a relationship beyond ego. Remind them, when ego comes, everything else goes, and only when ego goes, everything else comes. When love enters, ego goes, and when ego enters, love goes. Help them to choose love over ego in the relationship and it will make all the difference.
However love cannot be infused through a speech or lecture. It has to be shown. Love them both; lead them with love, rub your love onto them and when you transfer the fragrance of your love onto them, and when they become lovely people themselves, they will surely and definitely understand the futility of ego.
Once ego is dropped , arguments will get dropped. Once arguments are dropped, discussions will take over. When discussions take over, there will be harmony the relationship.
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