Great Thought- Some Thoughts on Relationships -V

Happy Morning

 


 

What is the difference between an argument and discussion ?

 

In a discussion, the focus is on” What is right” ? .  In an argument, the focus is on ” Who is right”? .  In argument, the ego has already entered and taken over.  Objectivity is no more possible.  A human convinced again his will still holds the same opinion.  That is why no one over wins an argument.  It always ends in a timeout.  That is why no intelligent person will ever argue with a fool; if he or she argues, then he or she is not intelligent.

 

That is why it is said, ” The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it”.  To an arguing solider, Abraham Lincoln said, ” Better give way to an angry dog than fight it, for even if you kill the dog, what about the injuries you will suffer in the process/”. Better give up an argument, for even if you win the argument, what about the emotional scars you will create in the relationship,

 

The only way you can help your relatives or friends is to make them understand the harmony in relationship is not possible unless it is a relationship beyond ego.  Remind them, when ego comes, everything else goes, and only when ego goes, everything else comes.  When love enters, ego goes, and when ego enters, love goes.  Help them to choose love over ego in the relationship and it will make all the difference.

 

However love cannot be infused through a speech or lecture.  It has to be shown.  Love them both; lead them with love, rub your love onto them and when you transfer the fragrance of your love onto them, and when they become lovely people themselves, they will surely and definitely understand the futility of ego.

 

Once ego is dropped , arguments will get dropped.  Once arguments are dropped, discussions will take over.  When discussions take over, there will be harmony the relationship.

 


 

Wishing you most & more

 

Have a great day & wonderful weekend

 

 

R.Ramakrishnan

Group Chairman’s Office

GMR Group-Corporate office – 11th Floor

IBC Knowledge Park, D Block

Near Dairy Circle ,Bannerghatta Road

Bangalore -560029 – India

Mobile: +91 9741309514

Phone: +91 80 4043 2088

Email:r.ramakrishnan@gmrgroup.in

 

 

 

 



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Great Thought- Mahatma 2/10/2015

Happy Morning

Today is the Birth anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi it is time for all us to remember and remind ourselves how this great leader worked with 3 principles.

       Ahimsa – Non-Violence

       Satyagraha- Fighting for truth

       Civil disobedience – Non-Cooperation

These 3 principles are still applicable to the contemporary world even today.

Unintended consequences have shaped the history of the world much more than the intended consequences.

When MK Gandhi was thrown out of the compartment, nothing happened.  When he was lying on the platform, nothing happened.  But when he thought, ” If I, as an individual , go through so much , what would be the plight of a nation… ? Then something happened.  He stopped being MK Gandhi.

The history of the world has been a history of disobedience .  The birth of every religion is an act of disobedience. Gautama Buddha’s did not want him to do what he did.  Mahatma Gandhi’s movement was called Civil Obedience. They chose to walk a different path.

Every time you follow your heart, you might and sound rebellious to people.  There might be times when you have to stand alone.  If you listen to your heart only you learn to go ahead.

Leadership is a consequence and not an Aspiration.  Mahatma Gandhi proved that his Passion, actions for larger good , going beyond the self has made him a leader.

Wishing you most & more

Have a great day & wonderful weekend

R.Ramakrishnan

Great Thought – Recognition 5/10/2015

Happy Morning


There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat…..One day, the horse became ill and he called the veterinarian, who said: – Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I’ll come back on the 3rd day and if he’s not better, we’re going to have to put him down.

Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation. The next day, they gave him the medicine and left. The goat approached the horse and said: – Be strong, my friend.
Get up or else they’re going to put you to sleep!

On the second day, they gave him the medicine and left. The goat came back and said: – Come on buddy, get up or else you’re going to die! Come on, I’ll help you get up. Let’s go! One, two, three…

On the third day, they came to give him the medicine and the vet said: – Unfortunately, we’re going to have to put him down tomorrow. Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses. After they left, the goat approached the horse and said:- Listen pal, it’s now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up!

That’s it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three… Good, good. Now faster, come on…… Fantastic! Run, run more! Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you’re a champion!!!

All of a sudden, the owner came back, saw the horse running in the field and began shouting:- It’s a miracle! My horse is cured. We must have a grand** **party. Let’s kill the goat!!!!*

The Lesson:* this often happens in the workplace & life in general . Nobody truly knows which employee or people actually deserves the merit of success & are in fact contributing towards success , or who’s actually contributing the necessary support to make things happen. Be grateful.

Remember………

*LEARNING TO LIVE WITHOUT RECOGNITION IS A SKILL!!!!*

If anyone ever tells you that your work is unprofessional, remember:

Amateurs built the Ark [which saved all the species], and professionals built the Titanic [all died tragically]

Wishing you Most & More

Have a wonderful day & great week

R.Ramakrishnan

Group Chairman’s Office

GMR Group-Corporate office – 11th Floor

IBC Knowledge Park, D Block

Near Dairy Circle ,Bannerghatta Road

Bangalore -560029 – India

Mobile: +91 9741309514

Phone: +91 80 4043 2088

Email:r.ramakrishnan@gmrgroup.in



This e-mail contains information which is confidential and/or legally privileged. If you are not the intended recipient , you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution or the taking of any action in reliance on the contents of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please destroy it and notify us by reply e-mail or by telephone. Internet E-mail messages may be subject to delays, non-delivery and unauthorised alterations and we shall not be responsible for the consequence(s) in such event(s). All reasonable precautions have been taken to ensure no viruses are present in this E-mail. We cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage arising from the use of this E-mail or attachments and recommend that you subject these to your virus checking procedures prior to use.

Great Thought – Efficiency vs. Effectiveness 7/10/2015

Happy Morning


I remember an excellent saying by ” The effective, vitalizing work of the World is done between the ages of twenty-five and forty By William Osler ( a great Physician)

The two terms ” Efficiency” and “Effectiveness” have to be understood correctly. It is very important to distinguish between the two parameters. Efficiency is about finding the best ways of doing an assigned job. It is the methodology. Then what is effectiveness ? if we analyse the word , ” Effective”, you will find a word within the word namely ” effect”. Effect means result. When we say we are effective, what we mean is that we produce result. We could have carried out some activity result may not have got place. Any effort made without result is a waste of time. We are not effective.

Our Strategy should be to produce more effect or outcome with least investment of effort and resources. This is ” Smart” working. If we are producing more outcome with more effort, we are working hard. 

Let me give an example: Suppose we have currencies of various denominations on our table amounting to INR 100. Imagine that a whirlwind blows them all over your room. What would be our strategy for picking them up? 

If we are efficient, we will pick up the currency closest to us and work towards the other. If we are effective, we will pick up the highest denomination currency first and then others.

Are we efficient or effective ? In fact, we should be effective and efficient and combine both tactfully

Effectiveness is more a goal setting and Efficiency is more a process of attaining the goal. !

Wishing you Most & More

Have a wonderful day !

R.Ramakrishnan

Group Chairman’s Office

GMR Group-Corporate office – 11th Floor

IBC Knowledge Park, D Block

Near Dairy Circle ,Bannerghatta Road

Bangalore -560029 – India

Mobile: +91 9741309514

Phone: +91 80 4043 2088

Email:r.ramakrishnan@gmrgroup.in



This e-mail contains information which is confidential and/or legally privileged. If you are not the intended recipient , you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution or the taking of any action in reliance on the contents of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please destroy it and notify us by reply e-mail or by telephone. Internet E-mail messages may be subject to delays, non-delivery and unauthorised alterations and we shall not be responsible for the consequence(s) in such event(s). All reasonable precautions have been taken to ensure no viruses are present in this E-mail. We cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage arising from the use of this E-mail or attachments and recommend that you subject these to your virus checking procedures prior to use.

Great Thought- Rules/Law & Dharma -Part -3 14/10/2015

Happy Morning

Continued from Monday …..


Quadrant -3 – Low on Dharma , High on Rules – Duryodhana

       Duryodhana never broke any rules.

       For him rules are of the utmost importance.

       It doesn’t matter if they are meant to do good or bad, if there is a rule, it must be followed- letter of the law.

       So when he drags a woman to be disrobed in public, no one- Bhisma, Drona, Pandavas, the other council members, teachers etc.- object .

       Because technically, he is not braking any written rules.

       He won the woman and the Pandavas – fair and square and can do whatever he wished with them.

His crimes  – Deception & dishonesty ( Cheated Pandavas of their Kingdom) , Malice, ( Many time tried to murder Pandavas)  Cruelty and disregard for honor ( Drupathi Vastrabharana)

If we really analyze all the major characters in Mahabharata through the lens of the inner conflicts , Duryodhana seemed the lease conflicted one. He character appeared consistent and he did what he believed in, even in the moment of death.  His conflict was more at the sub-conscious level- fear of being denied what is ” Rightfully” his.  He was threatened by the sudden emergence of Yudhishtra from the forest after the death of Pandu.  He believed that his “rights’ are being trampled upon and there is no one to help him. Not his blind father who listens to the advice of Bhisma and Vidura;  not his mother who refuses to “see” the world around her;  not the elders at court .  the notion of injury to his perceived rights gave birth and consumed everything – the kingdom, the elders, the teachers, the friends, and tragically himself.

Above all as per Manu Sastra – he did not pursued the path of Raja Dharma.

Quadrant 4 (High on Dharma, High on Rules) – Rama

Rama made it his life’s point to uphold all Dharma and all rules at any cost. When his father, in fit of rage, ordered him to be banished, Rama simply stood up and left for the forest. In some version of Ramayana, Dashrath is believed to be under some sort of a spell when he gives the order and later when he regains his senses, he asks Rama to not go; to which Rama responds by saying that an order once given has to be upheld. He chose to uphold the word.

When Vibhishana offers to fight on the side of Rama, he also states that he will share the strategies that Ravana is planning for the war. Lakshman jumps at the idea and urges Rama to let Vibhishana in. There is an interesting dialogue that occurs between the two brothers at that time – Rama says that both him and Ravana are fighting for their own respective reasons. They both believe their own reason to be true. Right now, Vibhishana is being looked at from the perspective of Rama’s reason, hence everyone believes that what he is doing is a great deed. If Lakshmana were to defect and go to Ravana, Rama’s camp would consider him a villain and Ravana’s people will consider him a hero. (Perspective ) So while many may think that taking Vibhishana’ s help to bring down his brother might be a good strategy, if we were to follow principles, we need to win the war on our own.

Once again, from a personality point of view , people like Rama are the ones we rarely come across and admire for their ability to stand by what is correct even at the cost of their own happiness. Their sacrifice inspires us to be better. Rama’s kingdom was fondly known as Ram-Rajya – a place where everyone was happy (in the truest sense of the word) and fulfilled. Rama did not ask Sita to prove her purity because he suspected her fidelity. He did it because, where he stood, there were people behind him who were murmuring about proof. In this world, no matter how much good you do, there will always be people who will search for holes in your goodness. And if you don’t give these people (no matter how small their numbers) the satisfaction of proof, they will continue to spread misinformation and lies until one day the murmurs become a clamor that bring down kingdoms. For a true Ram-Rajya, Rama needed there to be absolute faith – not through mere words, but through actions. For Rama, the kingdom came before his own happiness.

Leadership is about

      Only a good human being can become a Good Leader.

      Leadership is a consequence and not an aspiration.

      Link and sync between Preaching & Practice – Speaking and action .  Actions are seen and not intentions.

      We judge ourselves by our intentions and other by their actions.

       Fair and seen to be fair.

Wishing you most & more

Have a great day !

R.Ramakrishnan

Group Chairman’s Office

GMR Group-Corporate office – 11th Floor

IBC Knowledge Park, D Block

Near Dairy Circle ,Bannerghatta Road

Bangalore -560029 – India

Mobile: +91 9741309514

Phone: +91 80 4043 2088

Email:r.ramakrishnan@gmrgroup.in



This e-mail contains information which is confidential and/or legally privileged. If you are not the intended recipient , you are hereby notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution or the taking of any action in reliance on the contents of this e-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please destroy it and notify us by reply e-mail or by telephone. Internet E-mail messages may be subject to delays, non-delivery and unauthorised alterations and we shall not be responsible for the consequence(s) in such event(s). All reasonable precautions have been taken to ensure no viruses are present in this E-mail. We cannot accept responsibility for loss or damage arising from the use of this E-mail or attachments and recommend that you subject these to your virus checking procedures prior to use.

Great Thought- Rules/Law & Dharma -Part -2 12/10/2015

Happy Morning


Continued from Friday ….

Before I go to the second quadrant , I just want to pen down the meaning of Dharma. Try and provide a clear framework that explains dharma in a manner that is functional and can be used in daily life. Dharma for me is the human ability to outgrow the animal instinct born of fear of survival, manifesting as domination, territoriality and migration. Dharma is human concept.  Except human beings , all other animals belongs to Prakrti ( nature) , where no one has choices.  Everyone is fettered to their nature. Only human beings have the unique ability to make choices. All animals are consequence receivers and only human beings have the ability to be Choice makers.

Dharma is a principle, not a rule.

Quadrant -2 Low on Dharma , Low on Rule/Law

Ravana was a learned Pandit, a Proficient veena player , a great warrior and from all accounts a wise rules.  Apart from this he was a great devotee of Lord Shiva.  There are only 3 people in mythology has the tag of ” Ishwar” . Lord Shiva, Shani and Ravana .

Ravana had no principles and he believed in no law or rule. If he wanted something, he had it and that too whatever means necessary.  The wife of another was his play toy, he did not gave it up even if his brother got killed, his kingdom was destroyed and even when his son was dead.  In a different light, Ravana represents the ultimate alpha male-someone who will stop at anything to achieve what he wanted.  We sometimes trend to be impressed by such personalities- they project a kind of reality distortion field to people around them. So their followers end up believing that what they are doing indeed is correct even if that might be at the cost of their health, family, social life, values etc.

Shakuni – He was a fall back to Duryodhana who influenced the decisions of Duryodhana and poisoned him.  Shakuni had no animosity against Pandavas, his real enemy was Bhisma. He was not happy to see his sister Gandhari marrying a blind man and so his immediate enemy was Bhisma who brought the proposal of a blind man for his sister.  In addition , there is another legendary story which highlights the fact that the ancestors of Hastinapur destroyed the entire clan of Gandhara.  This is one of the reason why Shakuni vowed that he would end the entire Kuru line.

Another dimension is – Shakuni was in a foreign land .  Hastinapur was not his kingdom.  He was not following Dharma , because his action he neither did good to Gandhar or Hastinapur people. In fact his only agenda was to corrupt the minds of Kauravas.

Will continue on Wednesday ……

Wishing you most & more

Have a wonderful day & great week

R.Ramakrishnan

Great Thought- Rules/Law & Dharma -Part -1 9/10/2015

Happy Morning

 

It is my firm belief that Leadership is a consequence and not an aspiration.  Leadership evolved out of consequences will stay in the history more than Leadership evolved over Aspiration. I can quote many examples Leadership evolved over consequence – Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Gautam Buddha etc. and these leaders will remain and remembers forever.  Leadership evolved over aspiration like Adolf Hitler likely to be remembered for wrong reasons but these leaders never touched the heart of humanity and gets erased overtime.

 

Leadership is not only in organizations , it is in every sphere of life. When we ask someone who is the leader they all look up to someone above.  The fact is that we are all leading our lives – are we not leaders ?  We are all leaders in our lives.  Country requires leaders, Army requires leaders, sports requires leaders.  Earlier our  Kings who ruled various Kingdoms are all leaders.

 

There is a common thread which make the leaders great.  One is their actions, sense of purpose and going beyond self, made them leaders.  While they lifted themselves in their lives , they also lifted others around them.

 

Let me give you my views on Leadership from our own mythology

 

To become a King or a leader of country there are two things very important which holds good even today.  Number one is Rule /Law and second is Dharma. Both are equally important. A leader needs to be high on Rule/law and high on dharma ( Basically comes from values perspective) .  Lack of right values for a leader or a king does not merit the position.

Dharma

Quadrant -1 High on Dharma , Low on Rule/Law

 

Krishna is famously known as rule –breaker- right from his childhood and far more critical reasons ( including upholding dharma) during the times of the Kurukshetra war. . But never once does he break a rule for himself.  He did always for others.  Rules for Krishna are malleable, bendable- so when it is clear that Drona will not lay down his arms unless his Aswathama is killed, Krishna arranges for an elephant names Ashwathama to be killed. Bringing Woman to the battlefield – again breaking the rules – he gets Shikandi to ride with him so that Bhisma can be brought down.

 

Krishna says “ What they are doing is adharma, what we are doing is also adharma, but we are doing it with an intention of establishing Dharma. They are doing it with the intention of establishing Adharma. “ it is not a question of right or wrong. It is a question of purpose and of whether would be successful within the limitations of the rule or not.  He did not say what he was doing was right- he knew it was wrong, but what he was trying achieve was right.

 

For Krishna no rule is unbreakable as along as it is for a larger purpose, a positive purpose. Lord Krishna was very low on rule/law , but he knew if the end is dharma and to establish this the law can be fixed.  There is a caveat on this approach that there is a need to know the end Dharma and cannot be contested in eyes of Dharma.

 

 

Will be continued on Monday ….

 

Wishing you most & more

 

Have a wonderful day & great week end

 

 

R.Ramakrishnan

Group Chairman’s Office

GMR Group-Corporate office – 11th Floor

IBC Knowledge Park, D Block

Near Dairy Circle ,Bannerghatta Road

Bangalore -560029 – India

Mobile: +91 9741309514

Phone: +91 80 4043 2088

Email:r.ramakrishnan@gmrgroup.in